Delusions of grandeur are false, fixed beliefs of superiority, exceptionalism, or divinity that are not based in reality and are usually symptoms of mental illness—like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder during manic episodes, or some types of personality disorders. *Google*

Now look, this ain’t about all Amish folks or every ex-Amish soul tryin’ to find their way in the world. So, if it don’t apply, let it fly. But if you feel that twinge in your spirit or your feathers get ruffled, maybe, just maybe, it’s hittin’ a little too close to home. Now let me say this real slow so it sticks:
There’s a helluva lot of pretendin’ goin’ on in Amish country. Not pretendin’ like little kids with a stick horse and a tin pot hat, nah. This is high-stakes, court-tested, community-backed delusions of grandeur dressed up in cheap skirts and wide-brim hats. It’s The Amish Illusion: Where Control Is Worshipped and Truth Is Buried

Come on in and pull up a chair, but don’t bring no fragile sensibilities.
Because today we lay bare the lie of “the meek shall inherit the earth,”
at least the way the Amish been misquotin’ it.

They don’t walk in peace. They stomp in manipulation. They don’t ride in buggies for God. They ride in ’em sporadically to give the illusion they are walkin’ the talk, when every other day of the week they sit their behinds in the factory-made seats for automobiles, payin’ a driver to be their personal chauffeur.
The Schopenhauer Effect: Misery Loves a Bonnet

Let me tell y’all somethin’ I’ve seen with my own eyes: The Amish? They’re suspicious of joy. They repel it. You so much as smile too wide, and here come Sister Sadness clutchin’ her Bible like it’s a switchblade. Because happiness don’t fit in their theology.
Sufferin’ does.

They ain’t just enduring hardship; they’re manufacturing it like it’s molasses and quilt squares. Walkin’ ‘round like the Lord is gonna’ give out brownie points for depression. The hardship ain’t a lack of money, because most of them have plenty of it. The hardship is mental warfare they pit against the masses, and each other. Every day, walkin’ in their delusions that they are a light to the world.

“They are taught from childhood not to have personal goals or dreams.”
— Ex-Amish author Misty Griffin, “Tears of the Silenced” (2018)

Religious Psychosis: The Gospel According to Guilt, and we shouldn’t be tiptoeing around it no more. This ain’t holiness. This is delusional religious psychosis, baby. And I ain’t just makin’ that up, this fits the criteria like a puffy cookie at an Amish bake sale. It’s cheap and dangerous. With religious psychosis comes Grandiose Delusions, (“We’re the chosen people, the only ones goin’ to heaven.”), Persecutory Delusions (“The world is attacking us, everyone else is evil.”), Auditory Hallucinations from God (“God told me you must remain Amish, or you’ll burn in Hell.”), Ritualized behaviors detached from meaning (“Don’t wash your ass so much or Satan will visit.”) Like, you can ride in a car (per God, and the Ordnung), but you will go to hell if you get a license and drive one. Why, because then the person will have more freedom. They won’t have the watchful eye of paid drivers who tell the habits of other Amish folks, like where they go, which store did they frequent, what did they buy, what did they say. It’s a game, and they carefully choose the drivers for their schemes, the ones who are easily manipulated. This is what’s called “Livin’ Simply.”

One might ask, why don’t they allow regular folk into these facilities if they have regular doctors and psychiatrists up in dat’ bitch, well, the ones workin’ for them are much like those disgusting people back in the day who were Nazi Sympathizers. These are Amish sympathizers, psychologists, doctors and others who have decided to ignore laws, regulations and ethics and collect that Schmoney! While leavin’ these traumatized folks in the lion’s den to be further manipulated, gaslit, brainwashed and shamed until they forgive, forget and get the fuck out so they make up space for the next paying customer.

There is a storm brewing with these places though, and the veil of sin is being lifted. Maybe the government will take notice, but people are dying. There was a post in from of Gilead Balm Wellness Center in Fredericksburg, Ohio stating there are 62 active Plain People focused “Wellness Centers” and “troubled youth farms” across the U.S. This person stated most of them were illegally operated and unethical. This person stated they weren’t even owned by Plain People and were killing people by claiming to do the impossible, such as cure cancer in 5 weeks and other atrocities. These facilities are raking in millions of dollars, and the Amish are easily foiled and one thing they love is a good quack doctor. It’s asinine, as much as it is ironic. For a culture livin’ their “God’s Will” lifestyle, claiming how much they detest the world, and givin’ the appearance of being healthy, happy and unobstructed by the misgivings of the world, have so many mental issues that long term stays at these places are deemed necessary. But, what is extra sad and maddening is knowin’ these poor sexually abused creatures are sent there for horrendous violations, only to find themselves in another pile of vultures. This is why I do what I do, for the sexual abuse victims. I am not opposed to a good ol’ fashioned ass whoopin’ for kids, because kids be gettin’ on your nerves sometimes, but NOBODY should be violated sexually in any way, it’s foul, disgusting, and it not only breaks my heart, but it pisses me off! Why do people think it’s okay to force themselves on people, especially children! These are deep wounds that almost never heal and being sexually abused as a child can literally change your biology! While trauma can change you, healing can too. The brain and body have incredible power to adapt, recover, and even rewire, especially when given safety, love, and truth, but when you are in a controlling atmosphere like the Amish or Mennonite who don’t allow the grieving, mourning, grief, anger and all the stages that are unpacked, dealt with and vented through therapy and love. Instead, they are browbeaten to forgive, told to never mention it again and go do chores. It’s internalized, festering in your soul until you are lost even to yourself. It’s the silencing, the forced forgiveness, the denial of justice, and being made to carry the shame that was never theirs to begin with and instead of being held in comforting arms, these children are at the end of a religious gun shootin’ weaponized scriptures and damnation word vomiting.

I say tie the abuser down, give everyone, or at least the victim, a flail, and go to town, until the sonofabitch kills over, or until the victim is good and tired and somewhat justified that their flaccid meat is shredded and “We got the meats!’ takes on a whole new meaning.

Finding other survivors for a support group wouldn’t be hard to do or find within the Amish communities, but that ain’t gonna’ happen. You see, they’re told, once the abuser is forgiven, it’s done. Finito. If you bring it up, then it’s your sin now. Scuse’ me, Douchebag say whuh? I would be in the ban over and over and over if I were Amish. I’d be screamin’ truths from the metal rooftops! Phineas is a rapist! Edward is a rapist! Atlee is a rapist! And the list goes on. I’d tell the survivors to Build the Life they tried to Steal from YOU! I’d say escape and NEVER look back, and if your parents wanna’ play that shun game, then fuck ’em! Feed ’em rocks and keep it movin’! You can build a good life! You are worthy! Life is hard, but it’s even harder when you’re bogged down with all that weaponized religion and stupid-ass people who aren’t in the same reality. But then again, there is no right way or wrong way, there is only YOUR way, so do you, booboo. However, if you are Amish and abused, you will never NOT be abused, because they want to see you downtrodden, and the more you retreat, be quiet and submit, the better for them because they will swoop in and control the shit outta’ you! If they see you uprising, causing a division, they’ll cart you off to one of those facilities. I’d find a way to call 911! Call somebody, TELL! Let someone know! Beg for help and don’t take NO for an answer! They need consequences, or you know as well as I do that, they’ll keep on doing what they want, until somebody locks them the hell up and throws away the key!

Epigenetics: Trauma Can “Switch On” or “Off” Certain Genes

You’re born with your DNA, but how your genes express themselves can be influenced by your environment – this is called epigenetics. I am obsessed with this subject! Childhood trauma (like sexual abuse) can change how genes related to stress, emotional regulation, immunity, and memory behave. This is wild to me, but of course it does. People get pregnant, have kids and say, “I wonder what they’ll be like?” Well Linda, depends on how they live, what they eat, who they’re around, what they listen to, what kind of influence in friends they have, and if they’re sexually abused, then all the forced forgiveness in the world ain’t gonna’ stop the emotional toll that will change them. When cortisol and serotonin elevate, it triggers an overreactive response of your nervous system, hence stress, hence change. This means:
The person you might’ve been, calmer, more trusting, more carefree-may have been shaped by trauma into someone more guarded, anxious, hyperaware, or disconnected.

Neuroplasticity is amazing, the ability of the brain to form and reorganize synaptic connections, especially in response to learning or experience or following injury. (Oxford)The brain can heal, rewire, and grow new neural pathways throughout life.
Trauma changes you — yes. But so does:

Self-understanding

Therapy

Safety and connection

Creative expression

Loving relationships

However, you ain’t gettin’ all that lovin’ and understandin’ in a cult. You got chores to do, animals to feed, clothes to sew, trips to Walmart to get to and when you get back from that exciting trip, you better get that washer movin’ and shakin’! Maybe they think they’ll keep you so tired you won’t have time to think about how shitty your circumstances are!

I think about my stepdaughters, whose birthdays are approaching this week. They’ll be 14. We’ve not seen them in two years because their wonderful mother who is so close to the Lord thinks that parental alienation is Godly. I wonder where she bought her bible, at Satan’s yard sale?

They were just 8 years old when their uncle violated them, so their mom thought it was fittin’ to move them into a home with a savage beast, who made love to barn animals and viciously attacked his sister. They never had therapy, nor did the poor “A” who was not only accosted and shamed but forced to attend his funeral when they killed him up in prison. The accusing eyes of those in the community placing the blame of his death on her shoulders, while ignoring her pain and trauma. It sucked even harder for them because that Missouri community is foul. Dirty. Lazy. They lack basic humanity across the board, and I detest them, each and every one of them. If you know and say nothin’, you are a worthless piece of shit and I hope your booty hole gets ate up by pinworms and the Amish Auction doesn’t raise enough money to buy you a new anus, ya’ dusty bitches!

I hope the girls are doin’ well under the circumstances, especially being forced to lie on both me and their father to appease the Amish. We get it, we understand, and if they aren’t already privy to the truth, one day they will and will nothin’ but shame and disdain for a mother who kept them and their siblings from havin’ a relationship with a father who adores them.

These people will pay $1 a mile to drive 500 miles to get rubbed on by the latest craze of chiropractor, but they’ll ignore the physical and emotional effects of those who have been assaulted. Such as digestive problems, anxiety, depression, disassociation, chronic pain, autoimmune issues and the list goes on. It’s more important for these intimate lacking women to get a good “internal” massage from the chiro-quack who claims to align your spine by shoving his ungloved hand up ones vajayjay. Thankfully there are brave souls like Fannie Hershberger who filed her lawsuit against David Clark from Oak Grove, Missouri, who is said to have victimized dozens of people, most of them from the Amish communities. Of course, they weren’t able to get justice criminally because the coward up and died, but they are seeking civil justice through his bank account and business. The business whose website stated, “The doctor the Amish trust!” Truly disgusting.

Fannie is strong, resilient and courageous, workin’ towards changin’ the law which makes Amish leaders’ mandatory reporters, as they should be! Lawsuit: Former Amish woman claims KC-area chiropractor sexually abused her. The civil case is to be held in August of this year (2025), Good Luck Fannie!

“You Ain’t Who You Were — But You’re Becoming Who You’re Meant to Be”

Let me tell you somethin’ straight from the heart… When you go through hell-real hell -the kind nobody wants to talk about… The kind that happens in the dark, behind closed doors, in so-called godly places…
It changes you. You might’ve been loud once. Laughin’, wide open, free.
And now? You’re quiet. Careful. Watchin’ folks like a hawk. Or maybe you were the quiet one -the rule follower.
Now you’ve got fire in your belly, and you don’t back down for nobody.

That’s what trauma does. It don’t ask permission. It don’t care how young you were, or how pure your heart was, it barges in, and it rearranges everything! But here’s the thing nobody tells you…
You don’t have to stay stuck in who trauma tried to turn you into.

Maybe you were supposed to be the life of the party.
Maybe you were meant to feel safe in your own skin.
Maybe you were made to love big and laugh hard and not flinch every time someone got too close. And maybe all that got buried under someone else’s shame.

But hear me now, it’s still in you.
Your dreams. Your tenderness. Your truth. Your light.
It ain’t dead, it’s just waitin’ on you to call it back home.

You don’t owe the world a clean, quiet recovery.
You don’t owe your abuser forgiveness if it costs you your peace.
You don’t owe anyone a smile if your heart’s still heavy.

But you do owe yourself this:

To speak your truth.
To reclaim your name.
To live a life so full of purpose, healing, and beauty- it spits in the face of every lie they told you.

You’re not just a survivor.
You’re a truth-teller.
You’re a protector now, of others, and of yourself.
You’re a damn healer, whether you ever meant to be or not.

Not ’cause the trauma was worth it. Hell no.
But because you refused to let it be the final word on your life.

You’re strong. You’re scarred.
You’re still here.
And baby, you’re rising.

“They’ll forgive the abuser if he repents. The victim, however, must stay silent.”
— Cosmopolitan x Type Investigations, “An Amish Horror Story” (2020

So, whether you’re an ex-Amish survivor, a silent victim, or just someone finally asking the hard questions-know this:

You’re not crazy. You’re not alone. You’re not the sinner.

You’re just the one who woke up

I’d like leave you with a story of two sweet sisters, Becky and Amy, who were victims of a tragic crime in 1973, because two men gave zero thought to how their actions were not only cruel, horrific and savage, but also how, when things like this happen, they not only affect the victims, but the entire tapestry and fiber of everyone they knew and so many they didn’t. Much like sexual abuse changes the biology of the victim, it can and does change the biology of the air they breathed and those who hear their story.

Remembering Becky and Amy: A Promise to Never Forget

On a quiet September night in 1973, two sisters-Rebecca “Becky” Thomson and Amy Burridge-set out on what should’ve been a simple trip to the store for their mama, Toni Case. They had just come home from a trip to Mexico, full of stories and sunshine, getting back to the rhythm of life in Casper, Wyoming. Becky, 18, was a striking young woman with her whole life ahead of her, working as a meter maid for the police department. Amy, just 11 years old, had the kind of innocence in her smile that lit up a room. They were half-sisters, but you wouldn’t hear that from them-sisters are sisters when there’s love.

They left the house that night just trying to help, like good girls do, and while only one would make it back home, barely alive, the other would not, and nobody’s life would be the same.

Unbeknownst to them, evil was lurking close by. Two monsters-Ronald Leroy Kennedy and Jerry Lee Jenkins-were out cruising, fueled by a cocktail of booze, drugs, and whatever, black-hearted sickness lived in them. These weren’t just troubled men. They were predators. The kind who walks around with no conscience, no soul, and no business breathing the same air as the rest of us. That night, they parked near those girls, flattened Becky’s tire, and then played the role of good Samaritans. They offered a ride to “get help.” But what they offered was a ride straight into hell.

What happened next is almost too cruel to write, but it must be said because truth matters, and so do Becky and Amy.

These men raped, beat, and tormented them. They blamed the girls for some fictional injury their so-called friend suffered. They manipulated, lied, and stripped them of every ounce of safety and dignity. Then, they drove them out to Fremont Canyon Bridge. First, they threw Amy-the baby of the family-off that bridge. Becky, beaten and battered, begged them not to. But they did it anyway. Then they turned their rage on Becky and threw her too. By some miracle, Becky survived. Amy didn’t.

Becky lived, but in many ways, part of her died that night. She lived with the memory of that fall, the sound of her sister’s last scream, and the weight of being a survivor when her sister never got the chance. She tried to rebuild. She got married. Had a baby. But trauma doesn’t disappear. Not when it’s that deep. Not when your soul’s been cracked open by evil. In 1992, almost 20 years later, Becky returned to that same bridge. She fell again. And this time, she didn’t survive. Whether her death was an accident or intentional doesn’t change the truth-those men stole two lives that night.

This story breaks my heart and burns my soul. Because when someone is assaulted or murdered, it don’t just affect them. It ripples out like a stone thrown in still water. It shatters families. It bruises communities. It makes parents afraid to let their kids play outside. It changes the way sisters hug, the way mothers breathe, and the way survivors sleep at night-if they sleep at all.

It affects the way law enforcement carries that case with them forever. It leaves an imprint on anyone who ever knew them, the case or heard the story.

The Crime

At the bridge, the assailants first threw Amy over the 112-foot-high structure, resulting in her death upon impact. They then raped and brutally beat Becky before also throwing her off the bridge. Miraculously, Becky survived the fall, her descent partially broken by a ledge before she landed in the river. The following morning, she was found by an elderly couple and was able to provide authorities with descriptions of her attackers, leading to their swift arrest. ​Amazon+4Los Angeles Times+4The Washington Post+4Apple Podcasts+6Mamamia+6Amazon+6

Kennedy and Jenkins were convicted in 1974 of first-degree murder, rape, and assault with intent to commit murder. Both received death sentences. However, in 1977, their death sentences were overturned on constitutional grounds, and they were resentenced to life imprisonment. ​vLex+3Apple Podcasts+3Mamamia+3vLex+2Mamamia+2Justia Law+2

Despite surviving the physical ordeal, Becky grappled with the psychological trauma for years. She attempted to rebuild her life, marrying and having a child, but the weight of her past remained. In 1992, amidst personal challenges and concerns over potential retrials for her assailants, Becky returned to the Fremont Canyon Bridge with her boyfriend and 2-year-old daughter, Vail. Life had never been the same for Becky, from surviving the trauma, to having survivor’s guilt, she faced immense struggles, even alcoholism, and according to her boyfriend who begged her not to go the bridge that day, she was intoxicated. There, she fell to her death. While officially ruled a suicide, some, including the detective who had worked on her case, believed the trauma she endured had led to her demise. The Washington Post

The story of Becky and Amy has been recounted in various media, including Ron Franscell’s book, The Darkest Night: Two Sisters, a Brutal Murder, and the Loss of Innocence in a Small Town. Their tragic tale serves as a somber reminder of the enduring impact of violent crimes on victims and their families.​

So let me be real plain here: Don’t think for one second that sexual abuse-especially when it’s tucked behind the veil of religion or “tradition”-doesn’t cause damage far beyond the survivor. It rips through families like a wildfire. It stains generations. And for those of us who give a damn, it leaves a mark we carry in our chest, in our bones, in our prayers.

When the Amish-or any religious group-tries to sweep abuse under the rug in the name of “forgiveness” or “God’s will,” it ain’t holiness. It’s cowardice. It’s manipulation dressed up in plain clothes and bonnets. And no, we’re not doing that anymore.

Faith should never be a cover for evil. Your “lifestyle,” your “culture,” your “community values” mean nothing if they come at the cost of another person’s safety, dignity, or life. Respect goes both ways. You don’t get to demand it while destroying the very people God created and loves.

So, here’s the truth-change is coming. You either start cleaning house, or you’re gonna’ watch the house burn down, brick by brick, truth by truth. Because we’re not staying quiet. Not for your traditions. Not for your shame. Not for your made-up image of peace.

We are raising hell so others can find healing.

We are speaking names, so they don’t get forgotten.

We are exposing darkness, so the next little girl doesn’t have to be brave just to survive. You want to show godliness? Start by protecting the innocent. Start by standing up for truth. Start by stopping abuse instead of silencing it.

Because we’re here now-and we’re not going away.