Oh, honey. Let’s talk about the mind-numbing contradiction that is the Amish way of life, a lifestyle so full of holes, it looks like Amish underwear on a Monday’s clothesline.

Do the Amish brush their teeth? Short answer: NO.

Okay, maybe some do, but as a whole, not much and not regularly, especially among the Old Order and Swartzentruber. Hell, many of them consider a toothbrush too worldly, can you imagine? Cleanliness overall isn’t just overlooked, it’s frequently shamed or dismissed as unnecessary.

These folks shun everything that makes the world better: education, technology, healthcare, the military, hell, even proper hygiene if we’re being honest. They’ll protest a high school diploma like it’s the devil’s own parchment, but when that toothache hits different, guess where they roll up? Not to a board-certified dentist, that’s for damn sure. They roll up to some Amish man’s backwoods shanty, like the one in Sugar Grove, PA, Liberty, Kentucky, or Conewango, NY, where the chickens walk freer than the children. Of course, they’re all over, in various communities/ So, it’s not so much a shanty, as most of the Amish have serious bank accounts and fifteen-bedroom houses from the free & familial slave labor stackin’ their money supply, it just don’t show up on their 1040’s as much as it should.

Now let’s get one thing real straight, real quick: not all Amish are created equal, at least not in their own eyes. Oh no, sweetheart, they got themselves a caste system, and it’s saltier than fat back bacon. The New Order Amish like to dress it up nice and flaunt a lil’ more education on certain things (just not in actual schoolin’ as it were), but maybe they drive a tractor with rubber wheels or read a tract about Jesus on a Kindle, but don’t let the slightly upgraded bonnet fool you. They still hold hands with the same cultish mindset, just in a cleaner kitchen.

Now, when it comes to dentistry, the New Order might actually go to a real-ass dentist, a bonafide one with degrees that didn’t come from aisle five at the local discount bin barn. They might even let him use numbing medicine instead of cow prayers and a wooden spoon, or worse, bootlegged lidocaine, but don’t start clappin’ yet.

Because the Old Order Amish? Baby, they’ll gladly let Jebediah yank all 32 teeth out behind the chicken coop with a pair of rusted fencing pliers, just to save two shekels, that would be my in-laws. They’ll rock a whole rotten grill until they finally make an appointment with the nearest blacksmith/dentist then save money on a group ride with a bunch of other yuckmouths, so it’s like a tooth decayed road trip with the inside of the van smellin’ like the bacteria version of highway to hell. Shit, if the price is right, they’ll pull teeth in a damn dumpster and call it salvation. My husband has attended those backdoor dentist and he was so Amish crazy that when he went to a regular dentist, he had a tooth filled minus numbing medicine! Could you imagine that drill just diggin’ down in your roots without any barrier, just you and Satan, meetin’ head on in the form of a dental drill!? No way fuck you very much.

Let’s talk about them Amish-run “discount groceries.” You ever been to one? You walk in thinkin’ you’re gettin’ a deal, but baby, you are one bad grape away from Listeria. Some of these spots look like somebody raided the back of a Big Lots dumpster during a thunderstorm and decided to open shop.

And don’t think they ain’t diving for it either. Yes ma’am, some of these goods are straight from behind the Kroger loading dock, expiration date be damned. But slap a handwritten sign on it that says “$1.00 and Blessings!” and they’ll watch you leave with salmonella and a smile. Sanitation? That’s a worldly problem, not an Amish one.

Why? Because the name of the game ain’t faith, baby, it’s money.
That’s the dirty lil’ secret under the wide-brimmed hats and ankle showin’ dresses, MONEY! There is no Amish order: Old, Swartzentruber, new, Fellowship, or whatever that has a regulatory board checkin’ their homemade dentist office or roadside meal fridges, and the local health department don’t seem that worried about it either.

In Flemingsburg, KY, and Bath County, KY, health inspections in some places are rumored to be more handshake than regulation. I ain’t sayin’ everybody’s crooked, but let’s just say, a lot of things slide around here like butter on a hot biscuit, especially when it comes to officials and the Amish. I mean, Joe Lengacher was operating a grocery/variety/cabinet shop in this area for years, selling meat, cheese, bulk food, repackaged items and a lot more that not only was he not licensed to operate, but told point blank by the health inspector, Mr. McElfresh that he COULD NOT operate due to lack of water supply, but Joe Lengacher, the bishop, decided that the rules didn’t apply to him and by-God, he was gonna’ operate his store anyway and he did this because that is who many of the Amish are, entitled, hypocritical brats who wave their religious freedoms around like a sovereign shield. They might as well make the Amish crest a toothbrush and law symbol with a big slash through it with the words “The Law Don’t Apply to Us” then wave that bitch proudly, because that is how they think, act, and operate, and the government lets them do it. Such as operating illegal businesses selling old food with potential listeria from the wrong temperatures and being either too thawed out then refrozen, or repackaging, especially meats, making the potential for salmonella extremely high.

I believe this is called selective theocracy. Actually, I know it is and describes the Amish to a T. This group is constantly wanting to enforce their religious code on us, most importantly on those who refused to drink the Kool-Aid and somehow this gives the Amish the divine right and knowledge to tell someone where they’re going after death. However, these are the same group of people who don’t want to follow government rules but demand the government to protect them. Selective Theocracy, or as I like to refer to it as religious exceptionalism mixed with narcissistic hypocrisy.

These folks want to live by their own set of barnyard bylaws but come knockin’ at the courthouse door the second they need protection. Ain’t that some shit?They toss around ‘freedom of religion’ like Old Bay Seasoning, but only when it flavors their gumbo. But, when the law shows up at their door tryin’ to hold them accountable for the moldy bologna their sellin’ outta’ their pole barn bodega with no water to get the smegma out of their fingernails, suddenly, they’re the victims. It seems a little less like faith, and a whole lot like fraud. Legalistic manipulation as a weaponized shield instead of a first amendment right. Give me ALL of the freedoms, but NONE of the responsibilities.

How many of y’all knew that the Amish love to dumpster dive and resell the expired or damaged food and other items they find in these holes in the wall discount groceries and salvage stores. Just google “Amish salvage grocery stores expired food complaints,” and you’ll find articles and reviews full of stories from the folks who bought puffed up cans and toothpaste.

And guess what? Nobody cares. Health departments are underfunded, underreported, or just too chicken-shit to say anything about it, or in many cases was either paid under the table to allow it, or let it go too long that their own job is on the line, so, much like the Amish, they are going to try and shove that way back under that corruption rug and take a bribe to boot.

You think the Amish are off grid? Baby, they got the grid in a headlock. They run half the town’s economy, and the other half are too scared or too cozy with the cash to ruffle feathers. Ask a driver. Ask a farmhand. Ask that one cashier who’s seen behind the curtain and wishes she hadn’t. If two boys walk into a store to buy cigarettes but one of the boys is Amish and the other ain’t, tell me which boy is going to get carded? Yep, the one who brushed his teeth that morning. If there is an accident and one is driving a car and the other one in a buggy, tell me which one is gonna’ go to jail and be called a villain on F-Book and other places? You guessed it, the driver of the car, and no matter what the Amish driver was doing or not doing, they are seen as the poor victims and money rolls in for them, even though it might have been three young children transporting drugs for their parents. Are you tellin’ me that don’t happen? Y’all betta’ wake up out here if you’re not aware of that.

If you’re gonna’ praise a people for their pies, you better be ready to call out the rats in the flour bin. The moral of the story is, there ain’t no holiness in food poisoning. Aint’ no salvation in unlicensed dentistry, and ain’t nobody gettin’ to heaven faster ’cause they wore a straw hat and skipped fluoride. Just sayin’.

• In Ohio’s Amish Country, fully 59% of Amish households reported NOT vaccinating their kids in 2021, up from 14% only a decade earlier (Wikipedia).
• A 2023 meningitis B outbreak near Bergholz (Jefferson County, Ohio) infected ten children. A mobile clinic vaccinated 166 out of 168 community members to stop the spread. (Wikipedia, heraldstaronline.com)
• In New York, the Second Circuit upheld fines totaling $118,000 against Amish schools for refusing vaccinations after the state repealed religious exemptions (Alabama Atty General’s office, Amish America.com, St. Vincent)

Let’s get somethin’ crystal clear. My step kids deserved pearly whites and straight teeth, and they would have had them if not for their mama, and because she didn’t care, all they ended up with are yella’ grins with some blank spaces. They live in a house where toothbrushes go missin’ and raised to treat property and hygiene like dead weights. It’s not misfortune, it’s intentional neglect. The judge knew it, the GAL knew it, and hell, the fuckin’ kids know it, but here we are. Just like every other child in this particular situation who are in the family court system because some Amish man or woman got tired of the Amish bullshit and bounced. Then Family Court becomes the stage for these people, but I’m gonna’ say women are the family court instigators in this cult, since that is usually the case. Women such as my husband’s ex who had the kid’s teeth pulled instead of gettin’ them fixed with the insurance he carried for them. Insurance is the devil, but lyin’ under oath is “Godly???” Being toothless is normal to them at 30, 18, or who are we kidding, 12 in some cases! They will have a tooth pulled more often than they change their underwear, and that’s facts! It’s so sad, but for as much as they lie, I guess teeth are just gettin’ in their way of flappin’ their gums to anyone who will listen to them talk shit.

The so-called Amish dentists or tooth carpenters as I will refer to them have an 8th grade education and dirty fingernails. They pull slivers of poor teeth with pliers and have the good ones too. They’re rippin teeth with all the care of a barnyard butcher, hoping to reduce your kids’ smile to match their own bitterness. Everybody has to look the same, jacked up hair and teeth.

Children across these communities often end with early dentures, not solely because of genetics, but because no one taught them to brush or floss, nor cared when they stopped doing it. That’s a crime, not religious devotion.

Emmie’s children had appointments to get braces, root canals, and on their way to a nice straight, white smile that didn’t come in the form of dentures, but as spiteful as she and this cult are, she had their teeth pulled instead of gettin’ them fixed. They never received braces so truthfully, at this point, I’m sure they’ve not been back to see a dentist because unless her attorney tells her to take the kids anywhere for court’s sake, she ain’t gonna’ do shit. God forbid her or the cult(ure) do anything normal, and she don’t want her kids to have any sort of pride about themselves, since that is against their religion. #facts and if they needed a doctor or dentist, their father was the first one to take them, with her needing to be schooled many times for what she claimed was her job, raising the kids. The least you’d think she’d allow was for them to have a toothbrush, but even that was too much of a responsibility to keep up and their heathen’ cousins would visit and destroy anything they had and lose the rest, because of course they are without home-training as well. The first time we took his children out to eat, it was madness, and they have been taught that throwing food on the floor is acceptable, or any paper that you are done with and ready to discard, on the floor, especially in someone’s else’s house or in their car.

When they visited the house, I worked nights and deep-cleaned during the day because they would completely and utterly trash a house, and it wasn’t okay. These kids were old enough to know better but felt some sort of entitlement to be slack nasty heathens because that’s how they roll in Keytesville, so finally, they had to be educated on a few things. It’s what we knew as kids, called Mama Law. I told them, I ain’t yo’ mama, and you betta’ be glad ’cause I ain’t to be trifled with, but growin’ up, everybody in most houses knew that you got up, made yourself some cereal or a damn pop tart, watched a couple of cartoons and got the hell outta’ the house, ’cause that is cleaning day. Now, since they were only at the house a week, but made enough mess for a year, I said, pick it up, or I’ll throw it away. Sounds harsh, but I gave them every opportunity and what I’m not gonna’ do is continue to pick up someone’s mess when what they’re doin’ is deliberate and have been told to do by the Amish. I bet as they are roastin’ in their hot ass Missouri house with their mom in despair, they wished they were on vacation with us, havin’ fun, chillin’, watchin’ Bewitched and eatin’ pizza, instead of playin’ fetch n’ step for a mom who thinks the world owes her somethin’. I hope they’re okay and are doin’ good, but I know they aren’t, and we are stuck in a family court purgatory. Once you go through enough and see how they are, no matter what you want to do, especially in Missouri, you are not going to get a good result. Nobody up there gives a fuck, leastwise in Keytesville, Missouri, and maybe that is why they’ve terrible weather, the Gods hate it there too.

We hype this culture up as a simplistic, off the grid, Jesus-lovin’, humble and forgiving group of peeps and that couldn’t be further from the truth. The children in these groups are born to be servants and the basic needs that should be met are denied by many of these truly isolated groups of Old Order and others refuse, often times, life-saving care. They start spewin’ out all that God’s Will bullshit and let the kid die, and nobody bats an eye. There is no documented cases from what I’ve seen that Amish parents have been jailed for refusing medical care, when there are plenty of cases where they’ve refused medical treatment. The case of the Hershbergers in Ohio who left the country to evade gettin’ their child taken away. They were never jailed, or lost custody, and just saying that their “natural” methods worked and everything was good seemed to make it go away. Did they ever produce the child, not sure, and I’m thinkin’ probably not. For all we know they replaced her with another child to satisfy the courts, and the child died. There is nothin’ that this cult will not to or feel entitled to do. If anyone knows this child, who would be a grown woman now, tell her to come forward and let us know that she’s alive. But, you can guarantee if this were regular parents and not Quaker Oat lookin’ somebodies, they would be in jail, lost custody, or both. Cases like: Twitchell case (Massachusetts, 1993): Parents convicted of involuntary manslaughter after their child died of a treatable condition because they relied solely on prayer. Though the conviction was later overturned, it set legal precedent that religious beliefs don’t exempt parents from child welfare laws. (The Amish still haven’t gotten the memo).

Kara Neumann case (Wisconsin, 2008): Parents convicted after their diabetic daughter died from refusal to treat her illness medically. Both received probation and jail time.

So, leaving kids with untreated cavities and no shots (at least the bare minimum that keeps the kids healthy and everyone else for herd immunity) is irresponsible and abuse. It’s not piety because you’re in a culture, it’s neglect, regardless of the clothes you wear. Also, denying a child dental care, the gateway to their health, is basically sayin’, I don’t give a fuck about you, your teeth, your health, or your overall life. A parent who pulls out her children’s teeth just to spite their ex is a cruel motherfucker, and criminal to boot.

We’re livin’ in a world where people get fined for skipping school but allowed to sell moldy food and stoop over with rotten teeth, all in the name of culture. Well, enough. Let the think tanks wake up. Let the health boards crawl out of complacency. Let the people realize: a culture that worships dirt over soap, denial over science, and silence over truth is not holy, but harmful.

Let’s talk about some Amish dentists on the scene, or were back in the day who had no problem pullin’ out some vice grips and rippin’ your teeth right out of your head.

You ever heard of a man yankin’ 40 teeth outta someone’s mouth with no license, no gloves, no anesthetic, and a smile on his face like he’s doin’ God’s work? Baby, that ain’t country medicine, that’s medieval horror, but it’s happened and the horror stories from this culture don’t end with no WIFI, the abuse is deep!

Let me tell you somethin’, there are folks deep in Amish country playin’ doctor and dentist like it’s a damn game of pretend. But it ain’t a game when children walk outta’ barns lookin’ like Civil War survivors with blood in their socks and no teeth in their heads.

Now, we can sit here and say it’s because the Amish are fatalistic and abide by Gelassenheit, all day long, but that’s bullshit and we know it. If that is the case, then they wouldn’t be makin’ the choices, or any choice as that would be seen as rebellion, which would be a sin. I must wonder that if God made us and gave us all teeth, then why wouldn’t he expect you to take care of them. For that matter, wouldn’t dentures be seen as prideful? Why not wear nothing and drink your food since one obviously doesn’t need or want teeth if they can’t brush or “wash” them as the Amish say.

Let’s talk about Christ Zook, the OG Amish “Tooth Carpenter” outta’ Nebraska, straight from the backwoods dental school of Hope and a Prayer University.

This man was out here in the ’80s and ’90s yankin’ teeth like he was tryna’ open a jar of pickles. This man Pulled 40 teeth in two days on just two poor souls who probably only wanted an aspirin and a little mercy. Did he lose his license? Baby, he never had one. Did he go to jail? Nope. Did he get sued? Nah. The state gave him a thousand-dollar slap on the wrist and told him not to do it again, like he was a toddler caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

But did he stop? Hell no. He kept right on pullin’ teeth with the same dirty-ass pliers he probably uses to fix fence wire, and people kept lettin’ him, because when it comes to the Amish, especially Old Order, the law don’t really apply, now does it? Cops back off, judges turn into jelly, and everybody gets hush-hush the minute a beards and buggies roll up.

Why? Because they’re “religious.” Because they “live simple.” Because they “don’t know no better.” Bullshit. They know exactly what they’re doing. And that whole “We’re born Amish and gotta stay Amish” nonsense? That ain’t in the Bible. Not in the King James, New Living, or even the Church Lady Revised Version.

And speakin’ of the Bible, since we’re out here spillin’ tea and truth, can we talk about how that entire book is copyrighted by the British Crown? That’s right. Published, printed, and pushed through every era of colonization by some royal ass who probably couldn’t tell you the difference between Moses and a mop bucket.

Let’s get real. We’re supposed to believe a teenage girl (Mary) was miraculously impregnated so she could raise a boy to be hated, hunted, abused, and eventually sacrificed by his Daddy, all in the name of love? All for OUR sins? Like, What? No wonder the Amish get their parenting skills from God, cause’ he didn’t give a shit. If you have all the power, why are you torturing your kid? For shits n’ giggles? I’m sorry, what?

That don’t sound like salvation. That sounds like generational trauma wrapped in a sermon. That sounds like something a trafficker would preach when he wants the congregation to shut up and hand over their kids. Manipulation on the highest level.

So next time someone tells you “We’re born Amish and must remain Amish,” ask them where it says that. Then ask them what Christ Zook’s dental diploma said. Then ask them if Jesus charged folks a co-pay and pulled molars with fence tools in a shed after hours.

The truth is, this culture gets a Get Outta Jail Free card because people get nervous when religion is involved. But if we’re gonna’ be scared of God, then maybe we should remember God ain’t afraid of courtrooms, clean teeth, or holdin’ child abusers accountable. So, pull that truth out, no numbing required.

Let’s talk about Joseph J. Hershberger, the so-called “dentist” from Fredericksburg, Ohio, who wasn’t a licensed anything, yet he had the nerve to yank out all the teeth of a 14-year-old Amish girl simply because she “wanted dentures like her sister.” Could you imagine??? Not because she had cavities, not because of pain, just cause’ she wanted to be cripped up like her sister in all it’s true Amish glory. Now, Hershberger didn’t go to dental school, so he had no credentials. What he did have was a stash of lidocaine procurred illegally from somebody in Knox County (according to him), and a warped sense of authority where medical malpractice is brushed off like barn dust. Yes, he was arrested, but because he “cooperated” with this own shit and didn’t rock the buggy too hard, he avoided his 12-month sentence that everybody else woulda’ received. That’s right, probation and a slap on the wrist for injecting drugs and mutilating a young girl’s mouth. The parents? Nothing happened to them of course. No charges. No consequences, because they’re Amish and apparently that’s all it takes to dodge accountability in this country. Truthfully, if I had known fully about the Amish back in the day, I would’ve used that to hustle the shit outta’ some people. The Amish game is a money grab. (annualreviews.orglink.springer.com.)

Now, if this situation would’ve been a black family, a Mexican family, or hell, me, it would’ve been on the front page with mugshots, DEA involvement, and a deep-dive exposé. Not to mention CPS snatchin’ my toothless 14-year-old and puttin’ me underneath the jail, but Amish folks get editorial protection, redacted names, and the “oh, they don’t know better” treatment. Let’s be clear: this ain’t about hatin’ Amish people, it’s about hatin’ the system that lets them break the law under the protection of religion. That’s the real disease. Hershberger wasn’t just practicing unlicensed dentistry, he was part of a community-wide mindset that normalizes pain, punishment, and control under the mask of righteousness. Fatalism is their excuse, “God has already written our fate,” but apparently, God also wrote the script’ for y’all to jam dentures into a teenager who never even got the chance to learn oral hygiene, and if you say it’s vanity to fix teeth, how is NOT vanity to buy fake ones?

We need oversight. Real oversight. Licensed officials, not ones who get scared at the sight of a buggy or a man with a long beard quoting scriptures out of context. Every county with Amish populations needs random health inspections, mandated social service audits, and accountability for any person who injects a minor with drugs or mutilates their body in the name of “tradition.” Not to mention the education and other factors, mixed with the isolation. Let’s stop callin’ this a culture when what we’re witnessing is systemic abuse, child neglect, and backwoods dentistry that belongs in a horror movie. Culture is gumbo and jazz, grandma’s porch stories, and powwows under willow trees, not teeth yanked in a barn while chickens cluck in the corner.

So no, this isn’t just some rant. This is the reality. Hershberger isn’t the only one. He’s just one of many who’ve gotten away with it because we’re all too scared to challenge the bishop’s authority. But I’m not scared. I’m mad. And I’m done watching kids get mutilated, women silenced, and families destroyed while the law looks the other way. You don’t get to call that religion. You don’t get to call that God’s will. That’s abuse, and I’m callin’ it what it is and that is not fatalism, it’s more like hypocrisy pretending to be faith. Preachin’ God’s will as if divine plans supersede basic medical care from a licensed professional, but they willingly seek out the nearest Amish torture chamber and flash their religious exemption like it’s their co-pay. We need to be prosecuting these fools to the fullest extent! Hell, they’re lockin’ up mama’s out here for lettin’ kids ride bikes without helmets n’ shit, and the Amish are pullin’ their kids teeth out by the root with dirty hands and no prayers. This ain’t culture, its cruelty wrapped in a straw hat and handed a scripture card, aka, systematic failure. There should be no religious shield for barbarism.

They want about $150 just to get penicillin for your cows now with vet house call, assessment, fee for the drug, and that ain’t even for a human! Always attempting to regulate every single little thing, yet in Amish land, someone like Atlee Wengard is pretending to be a dentist, rippin’ baby teeth out with rusty pliers, no sterilization, no license, no care, and gets off with a slap on the wrist for a first-degree misdemeanor. What is so traditional about that, because they’ve normalized the un-normal?

Picture this scene: a ramshackle chair that looks like it came from a swap meet, a crusty spittoon, no gloves, no lidocaine, just old-timey vice grips and a man who just wiped his hands after a meat shankin’ and dove into your kid’s molars like he was crackin’ nuts for Sunday supper, or his own nuts. Sounds like a haunted house, but it’s your typical Amish dentist with a line out of the door of “grateful” parents proudly pattin’ themselves on the back for the detriment they’re about to do to themselves or their kinfolk. They get this false sense of pride as if everyone is proud of them for mutilating themselves, solidifying their true Amish roots. Smiling with three teeth left, swearin’ by this man’s work like he’s the Amish Dr. Oz. Meanwhile, they aren’t there for real care, they just don’t understand that your mouth is your body’s front porch. If that porch rots, your whole house does too.

Gum Disease leads to heart disease, stroke, rheumatoid arthritis, even Alzheimer’s. Bacteria from your mouth has been found in brain tissue, but do Amish parents give a damn? Hell to the motherfuckin’molar they don’t. Many are happy to pull all their kid’s teeth early, like dentures at 12-years-old is some rite of passage.

Let another mom neglect her kid’s dental health? CPS would tear that home apart. Yet Yale police have to chase Amish people who block public roads, but nobody chases a barn dentist pullin’ a teen’s teeth like a horror show prop. They’ll raise hell if a girl wears jeans or makeup, but let a man yank your kid’s teeth with Vice‑Grip 1880? Crickets.

You know what that tells me? It ain’t about God or tradition, it’s about control. The Amish thrive on ignorance and fear. If you’re smart or independent, you’re a threat. That’s why they bank on isolation. But I refuse to let this shit stand. Culture ain’t about teeth yanked in a barn, this is dark shit masked by obedience and I guess smoothies since that’s all the fuck you can drink or eat, and how are they runnin’ a Vitamix?

{The medical consensus on oral-systemic health connections, gum disease linked to heart disease, diabetes, Alzheimer’s, is well-established in public health literature and broadly supported across CDC and NIH guidelines, so getcha’ some.}

Let me tell you a story they don’t like whispered too loud.
A story they buried deep under their Paraphilic rugs.
A story about a girl they call Anna, who had every tooth removed out of her head by an Amish dentist as punishment, simply for tellin’ her truth. The truth that her brothers were sexually abusing pieces of shit who had been sexually abusing her from the age of eleven, and parents who aided and abetted further abuse. I don’t know her real name, but she got a mama named Trick ass bitch, but I think they call her Fannie, and a Dicksucker for a daddy, I think they call him Slabaugh.

Anna confided in someone about what her mother’s sons were doin’ to her, and her mother’s first instinct was to protect the abusers. This child’s soul was being stained by these monsters in her home, allowing her no peace, comfort, or ability to be heard and protected because the Amish culture chose to protect them, and fiercely. Not only did they go after her, and her mama went after her, but the elders went after her too, the same dicks who make the rules, enforce the rules, and forgive the rules, then went after this abused little girl and muscled her into recanting instead of doin’ the normal and legal thing, which is turn in the brothers and seek help for them.

Because in Amish society, to reveal what happens behind their veils of tradition is to commit high treason. The only justice they wanted was to silence her. So, they did. Her “mom,” ol’ Fannie Slabaugh, decided as punishment to have their local tooth torturer pull every single tooth out of this little girl’s mouth, simply for speakin’ to an outsider about her abuse. Let that sink in. A child was mutilated to protect the image of a community and keep everybody from knowin’ that her sons were sexual abusing monsters who needed to go the local dick torturer and have it grinded down to the bone. Cremate that shit and send it back home with them in a Maxwell House Coffee Can so they can bury it with their piss-poor soul.

When the courts were informed, her parents told Anna they’d take her to “to the woods” if she didn’t drop the case. We all know what that means, so she folded. That’s not before they locked her in her room as punishment. Once CYS of Pennsylvania got involved, well, by involved I mean they ignored her pleas for a month then finally stopped by on their way to Starbucks after they finally decided they didn’t want any more nuisance calls. This is Pennsylvania CYS, and from what I heard and know, they just go to work to steal office supplies, and while they’ll snatch up a regular kid, they ain’t doin’ a damn thing for Amish kids. Especially those around the New Wilmington area. Amish bitches down there have gone rogue, the kids are bouncin’, and the mom is still gettin’ auctions hosted for her and that is just one scenario. Don’t think that just because an Amish woman spits out a bunch of kids that she’s Mother Theresa. Number one, Mother Theresa ain’t even who you think she was, and neither are these Amish moms. They are gettin’ abused, doin’ the abusin’ and allowing the abuse from others, even those skank ass drivers who chime in and abuse as well, if not more than the others. Not all drivers are like those ones in New Wilmington. Oh, those down there parade around the community like they are high-falutin’ good citizens doin’ Amish tours and hostin’ weddin’s, when really, they are demonic bitches with a fucked-agenda who need a punch in their goiter! Of course, they’re gonna’ resonate with the Amish mom who allows her kids to get sexually abused, then taunts them about it. I’m not makin’ shit up, this level of Rebecca Brewer shit is goin’ on all day, every day in certain Amish households and I have Amish friends in that community who tell me how truly bad it is. Ain’t nobody comin’ to save these kids, because the woman is lawyered up with a fierce lesbian, and you know how those butch lesbians are, especially when they get their suits from Men’s Wearhouse and rock that Carol Brady cut, it’s over. They don’t give a fuck about laws, because they’ve already shoved that bribe money under the judge’s desk and scared the whole damn town with their lesbian agenda. The soft lesbian don’t stand a chance around these mafiosos in clunky shoes, lookin’ like a carpet munchin’ Bratz doll representing a tossed out raggedy Ann reject. It’s a sight to see, I’m sure. Two opposites unifying for the greater good of really fuckin’ a family all the way up. Same ethical standard from dusty bitches with zero morals.

In case you didn’t remember, stop donating to those Amish Auctions. They are frauds and also, because they get enough favor from their religious freedoms that they’ve fully exclaimed that they “take care of their own.” So, do it! Quit beggin’ and pleadin’ for us to help you, when they damn sure ain’t helpin’ nobody out here, or their own for that matter. It’s a scam. Do you think that auction money went to help that Amish woman’s kids? Fuck no it didn’t. That woman is ballin’ out and ignoring her kids’ pleas for a better life while her goofy bishop and son alike treat her like a doormat, and she gets her rocks off in family court by treatin’ her baby daddy like a door mat. I’m pretty sure the marriage should have been annulled anyway, I believe they’re related. Is she a wife? A vixen? A cousin? Or a cousin-vixen because I know she ain’t a wife anymore. Like most, she’s a dusty shell rotting away in the formalities of her tradition while the world moves on without her, forgetting she exists. At the end of the day, the Amish will organize an auction for a lazy, overweight Amish woman who has overpriced attorney bills to pay, but NEVER hold a benefit for the likes of Anna who was spawned by Fannie Slayerbaugh who rips her kid’s teeth out for her own goddamn evil pettiness. Personally, I’d love to meet Fannie, but like every other Amish trick who start trouble and hide behind the courts and their tight-nut bishops, they are scared little bitches peekin’ out the windows of those cheap blue curtains, knowin’ an ass whoopin’ is inevitable if they move wrong or go the wrong neighborhood.

CYS, the Amish, law enforcement, God, and everybody else let Anna down. Yes, God. Seems like when some really bad shit is going down, he’s across the way blessin’ the Kardashians with another ass implant or gettin’ Hunter out of his crack-addicted mess. It’d be nice if he stopped all the child sex abuse and some other shit, because that cross situation is startin’ to make him look real suspish’. The only person who attempted to do anything was Barbara Burke, a massage therapist that Anna was sent to, and once Ms. Burke saw them bruises, she called CYS, and still, NOTHIN’ happened. Good job CYS! Ya’ clipboard totin’ ninnyhammers.

While Anna bled for days and in serious pain from the monstrous actions of Fannie and John Yoder, the sadistic plier Schadenfreude, her mother just laughed and said, “I guess you won’t be talkin’ anymore.” The bishop, Moses Shetler, along with all the goons in Anna’s life, never received any punishment that I’m aware for this, and if they did, you can bet your ass it didn’t fit the crime or else they’d be dead or still in jail. Hell, the very bible they claim to live by was translated by King James VI who held his own mother incarcerated and eventually beheaded her so he could gain power. So, I guess it makes sense this book would be their go-to manual. I think it’s a good historical document (to some degree), but let’s be real, it’s written by man, various men, with different perceptions so that makes it a collection of stories by those attempting to “one-up” the other with embellishments and exaggerations. Maybe if Jesus wanted his story written, he would have written that autobiography himself. I mean, he rose again, so he was capable.

At the end of the day, despite so many followers hyping this story up, if you really think of the morbid undertones of this story that has conjured so many to worship a cross a man was tortured on, and not just any man, but the son of God, so that our dumb asses could be “forgiven” of our sins??? Where was God and why did he think this was a good plan? The almighty didn’t have a better marketing plan for this book than to convince people to worship the very cross somebody was tortured on. That’s like going to the scene of a crime and hosting a picnic every day, it’s absurd. Why doesn’t everybody really honor him and wear a crown of thorns? This man’s torture became the beacon for grace and spirituality. Huh? I’m not sayin’ Jesus didn’t exist, but he should be salty as hell with what his daddy allowed. I think that would be grounds for personal space and reflection time due to the toxic and cruel shit he allowed. Then that, for us, turned into, believe in me or burn in the fiery pits of hell? Yet, the deeper you go in the ground, the colder it gets. Sounds like a very manipulative tale of Amish logic. A book that wraps control into scripture, lace fear with “forgiveness,” and weaponize isolation. Yep, sounds Amish.

In the end, I think Anna finally escaped when she was older and I hope she never looked back, except to attempt to hold them accountable, but in case y’all didn’t know by now, many, if not most of the police departments in the states and communities with Amish presence, are paid off. Why else do you think their crimes go unnoticed and unpunished? The Fannies, Atlees, Josephs, Wengards, and John Yoder’s scathe by to keep doin’ their dirt and allowing the teeth pullin’ and child rapin’ to continue…

(Anna’s case was brough to light in BeliefNet and Dateline NBC and she wasn’t the only one, a few were able to get noticed.) There isn’t enough justice or justification for some things in the world, such as the little 13-year-old in Seymour, Missouri who was gang-raped and tortured by her four goofy inbred brothers for years until she ended up pregnant. The judge should be in prison with the two that he FINALLY had no choice but to send the two oldest motherfuckers while he had attempted every which way to keep them free from the dicks in their ass of the Cell Block, citing they would eat them alive in prison. Yes, judge, that is what should happen. What do you think prison is supposed to be, Club Med? They never removed that little girl and forced her to remain in the home with her dumbass parents who needed a visit to the woodshed, and the two other brothers that were also raping her and who I’m sure continued to do so. Who was the baby’s father/uncle? Who knows, she probably has another one by now, because the law doesn’t fuckin’ care! It’s as if Amish children aren’t human in the eyes of the law.

In a separate case, Rebecca Byler (from Breaking Amish) had her teeth pulled voluntarily at 19 to get dentures because it was cheaper than fixin’ them. Her case was by choice, not punishment, but the culture still shaped the decision from the brainwashing that was instilled into her. My husband lost his teeth early and has spent a nice chunk in Istanbul repairing them and attempting to reverse the damage growing up Amish did to his health, and that shit ain’t cheap!

So, while y’all give them all of this religious freedom, just remember, King James was a documented homosexual, who hated women and intentionally distorted information in this book which is now his namesake, just to leave his legacy, impart his real love of Satanism, and how being a homosexual wasn’t what the original text referred to, but men lying with men was actually grown men should not lie with children. Anybody can write a book, and like him, in his position at the time, can manipulate a book anyway he damn well chooses, because much like the Amish, the rules don’t apply to them.

This ain’t just about some teeth.

It’s about how deep abuse runs when a whole society helps cover it up.
It’s about how “God’s people” sometimes use His name as a muzzle.
So next time someone says the Amish are just “simple folk,”
ask them about Anna.
Ask them why no one ever paid for what was done to her, just like all the other victims you see out in public lookin’ shell-shocked and dumbfounded. Ask yourself how you’d feel if your mama’s heart strings were attached to a couple of rapist kids who might have been knockin’ boots with her for all we know, and that’s why she was so fiercely protective of the abusers and wanted to annihilate the abused. Ask yourself how you’d feel if you had a cavity from the lack of access of havin’ a toothbrush, or parents who are peekin’ around the corner to make sure you DON’T brush your teeth instead of doin’ two minutes at minimum to prevent cavities. Ask yourself how you’d feel if some dentist like the Christ Zooks, John Yoders, or Atlee Wengard’s were comin’ at you with a pair of rusty bolt cutters or some barbed wire and a doorknob fully ambitious with the two brain cells if they’re lucky to have bangin together under that hideous haircut, to pull every tooth in yo’ head cause’ you have a headache.

Think about your dentist office, clean and sanitized, then think about Atlee’s house in Sugar Grove or Conewango, Ny that smells like dirty feet and stale air from the swamp ass of the inhabitants. Now imagine sittin’ in his livin’ room attempting to relax in the makeshift dental chair that all the lil’ dirty Amish crumbsnatchers have wallowed on with dirty (everything), and probably had their diapers changed on it as well, now you’re about to be at risk for not only bleeding to death, but also overdosing on the illegal lidocaine or whatever this fool is coming at you with in that syringe he scored from some crooked dentist like the Joseph Hershberger of the world who rolled over on his supplier quick. Two like-minded knuckleheads ready to risk your life for $3.00 a tooth. He probably makes a necklace like those island savages, out here snatchin’ molars like he’s huntin’ loose change from a couch cushion. No gloves. No license. No sense. Just some crusty ol’ pliers, a shaky hand, and an ego inflated by a cult that calls itself humble while runnin’ black-market health operations out of barns and back sheds.
And listen close: That man ain’t cleaned under his fingernails since Y2K, and if he does wash his hands, it’s probably with creek water and a prayer, and we know most water these days is contaminated with bacteria they’re trying to kill us with, but because he’s Amish, folks let it slide. No questions asked. No licenses checked. It’s like Jesus handed him a dental degree written in crayon and sealed it with barn dust. Out here perpetrating as if he’s a real dentist, makin’ house calls like an Anabaptist Pierre Fauchard. I wonder if Atlee still thinks about Johnny Shetler when he resides on Stillwater Road. Does the ghost of that little boy still haunt him? #justiceforjohnny Atlee, among others, was there the morning Johnny was found hanged in the barn under mysterious circumstances. Funny how all those men high-tailed it the Canton, Ohio nuthouse, aka Aultman. I’m assuming they got a group rate. I’m sure Emmie’s dad remembers the details, as does his twin brother, Nubbins. They were there, but who was the one sexually abusing Johnny? That is the million -dollar question. All of them?

We don’t forget. We don’t forgive and Johnny Shetler’s spirit lingering in purgatory damn sure ain’t forgot.
We document and we deliver.

You see, we know the game. We know the Amish move quiet, like snakes in high grass. They spike your food, lace your coffee, smile in your face while they dig your grave with the other hand. If you think that’s far-fetched, then you’ve never danced with the devil in New Wilmington, Pennsylvania, Tilton, Kentucky, Sugar Grove, Pa, Keytesville, Misery or all of the other Amish communities hidin’ horrible crimes. Most of them have blood under their fingernails and lies leakin’ from their split gums.

Let me start by sayin’ this clear: not all Amish are cut from the same quilt, but baby, the fabric is familiar. I’ve met enough of them to know the thread count, and it ain’t high, but there is somethin’ more at play here that gives the people in this cult to have the entitlement and bravery to play dentist/ torturer to so many, or claim love for God and forgiveness and in the same breath stab someone in the back, rape a child, and shun someone for simply leaving the cult. I’m taken back to the ‘Son of Sam’ case and how David Berkowitz discharged from the military a confused veteran, unsure of what to do with his life, and because he was lost and easily swayed, he would be targeted and initiated into a cult of evil people.

These bottom-feeders were from the Process Church, and some have speculated that they were also associated with the Church of Scientology, but that is speculation. New York would experience a string of random murders in the 1976-77. It’s interesting to research the crimes, the power of cults, church involvements, and the hold that extreme religion has on people. David Berkowitz would take the fall for these crimes, but it’s obvious that he didn’t act alone, but to this day, he said he didn’t do it, but that is it and sits in prison for the rest of his life because of these “sacrifices.”

Oddly, or ironically, however you choose to look at that, David Berkowitz has found God “again”, since he was a devout Christian previously and Jewish, makin’ it even more atrocious that he was so lost, or telling, in my opinion, that one can declare their love for a higher power and have no problem taking the lives of an innocent person and many of these victims were truly just innocent, young, and just getting their life started. How can the “Son of Sam” now wish to be referred to as the “Son of Hope.” Berkowitz claims to be reborn and a true follower of Christ, showing complete remorse and spends much of his time warning young people on the life of destruction and the consequences that come with it. Berkowitz, when interviewed, explained how lonely, unhappy, and in the pits of despair and this was during his time of being a devout Christian.

Is Christianity weaponized across the board? Religion has been twisted into a mask for narcissists, a shield for abusers, and a tool for control. Churches are filled with judgmental assholes who are so humble, giving, and the salt of the earth during that hour long service, but as soon as they leave service and hit a restaurant to eat, they forgot all about being “godly” and treat servers like those browbeaten in the book they claim as their map to success and good heartedness, much like the Amish who have used religion to hide the evil that has become so prevalent, that regardless if you’re the abuser, if you aren’t buckin’ up by now, the yo’ ass is just as guilty by association. None of y’all, in any church, and especially this Amish cult, is above suspicion. Jesus warned y’all of that in Matthew 7:22–23, and yet, you’re still doin’ all the dirt and hidin’ behind the mask of godliness. “Many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name?’ … And I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you.’” Yeah, that’s what he said.

So, all of these Christians are lonely, isolated, struggling and the church folk will just tell ya ‘To pray it away. Keep prayin’. Somebody dies, pray for them. Somebody gets fired, pray for them. They need money, just pray, it’ll drop outta’ the sky straight outta’ Ed McMahon’s hands, but do you ever see the church handing over the collection plate to a struggling person sittin’ in the congregation on the balls of their ass? A mama who can’t feed her kids? A sick person dying of cancer? No, you don’t. They will pay you in prayer and if you need cash, you bet your sweet ass you’ll be groveling for it in front of a panel of some wishy-washy benevolence ministry whispering about why and how you got down on your luck? It’s a foul game of flippant by those who have a little tenure in the Christian game which somehow elevates how close you are to God. Kind’ve like a bishop, but they’re not so much elevated with tenure, it’s more the unlucky draw of a name from a book like hot potato. Nobody but the main predator really wants the gig to begin with.

All cults essentially operate in the same manner and Research in psychology shows emotional emptiness, isolation, and search for purpose make individuals more susceptible to cult recruitment. Of course they want to keep you isolated, how else would they control and manipulate you. How else would they be able to convince you that allowing an uneducated Amish who smells like old cheese and breath like a literal dragon, is a good choice to act as a dentist and pull your child’s teeth out/for no reason! Bitches are crazy! Cults who idolize ignorance should make one leery in and of itself. Hell, when his ex sat on the stand and proudly announced that she didn’t want her children to be educated and they wouldn’t need it, that’s when I knew that unless the kids leave altogether, they’ll never have a chance in that godless cult. Of course, she was the same woman who proudly stated she took the kids back to their abusers for a visit (but she watched them the whole time). The same woman who called Phineas Schrock a good Amish boy and of course she took the kids to his funeral (after he was killed in prison-allegedly), because of course it’s perfectly normal to take your kids to a rapist’s funeral where he met his maker in the department of corrections for being a disgusting, incestuous rapist with a thirst for animal butthole. I’m sure they had a thirst for his butthole when they found out he raped his sister, among others. Raping his sister was the only crime he was found guilty of, but he had access to my stepchildren, and their cousin’s whom he lived with, Mose and Esther’s kids, and every other kid in that community, because they didn’t call the police on the rapist, he was one of their own. Hell, they called the police on us if they saw a car traveling down the road they thought looked like ours. Bitch, we live ten hours away and we ain’t pressed about you, whether we live ten hours or ten seconds away. Keytesville would be upset if they knew I had a friend there, and I’ll still call it a shithole. It’s one of those places you visit, like many of them in Missouri, that give you the ick. Where dreams go to take a big fuckin’ dump and the smell just lingers, like an Amish bedroom bucket at 3 am.

The Amish is nothin’ more than a bunch of David Berkowitz mentalities in matching outfits. Willing to shun, abuse, rape, murder, poison, lie and anything else, all for the sake of “The Church.” The Son of Sams turned The Son of Hope, who murdered a bunch of innocent people then find God (again) and decides that he’s a fellowship man now. He is going to save the youth by telling them the consequences of their actions, but one might ask themselves, when they read the bible, does it tell you to follow blindly and do whatever God says while never mentioning the consequences? I guess God has the world following him blindly, such as Christian missionaries, who followed God all the way to the end of that knife when the bad guy cuts their head completely off and videos it for the world to see. Why didn’t God save his blind followers? Why didn’t God attempt to save Kayla Mueller when she was held captive for almost two years? When she was beaten, tortured and whatever else they did before they killed her, where was the church? Oh, they said a nice prayer, but do you think they wrote a check to ISIS? Nope, and neither did Obama. He wasn’t in the trading game or the Kayla Game, because he was too worried about the transgender movement that he started, so Kayla was killed and from what sources say, she refused to denounce her Christian faith, but it seems to be she had Ragnarök and not a deep love for Christ after everything she had been through. I could be wrong, but one typically doesn’t think about the Almighty when being beaten and tortured, unless you’re askin’ God to let you die already. I think about her often though and the torment that were her last days and think to myself, WHY? Why can’t someone be safe in the world to travel and do what makes them happy, while attempting to make the world a better place, and that she truly was sacrificing her life to do, while the same organizations looked the other way instead of rallying, attempting to free her, negotiate or anything, and that includes Doctors without borders. Personally, I say fuck all of them “volunteer” organizations who want you to pay your own way while helping them get bigger, richer, and more dominating and like the military, forget your ass as soon as you’re in trouble. That’s just me, because when you’re being tortured by ISIS, you need more than a prayer, you need a swat team! Do they have a gang like that “Swat Team for Jesus.”????

Let me start this off by sayin’ real clear, what we’re dealin’ with ain’t just a cultural misunderstanding. This is generationally embedded trauma, hardwired into biology, soaked in religious delusion, and disguised under the scent of cinnamon rolls and starched aprons and boob coverings.

See, when you raise a child in captivity, and yes, it’s captivity when you’re not allowed to think, speak, question, or breathe unless the bishop or your daddy says so, you are rewiring that child’s neurological development. Period. That ain’t me talkin’, that’s science. When the brain is deprived of education, language development, critical reasoning, and free will, you are engineering compliance. And make no mistake, that’s what cults do: engineer obedient cattle. Not independent thinkers. Not brave souls. And God forbid, not survivors!

But sometimes, somehow, a few come out different. My husband’s one. I call him a “stud fee baby” half-jokin’, but I mean it, he was too good for that cult, too soft-hearted, too kind, too unaware he could even say no. That’s the part that kills me. He didn’t know he could say no. That’s what systems like the Amish, Mormons, Mennonites, and every backwoods hellhole cult do, they create shame-driven compliance and call it “faith.”

And yet these professional psychiatric sources got the gall to say we should be “sensitive” when dealing with Amish clients. Sensitive? To whom? To the ones who knew their sister was being raped but said nothing? To the grandma who whispers sweet prayers on Sunday while draggin’ her daughter by the hair behind a barn Monday for not “submitting”? Baby, I ain’t no clinician, but I’m not about to offer tea and hugs to the wolves in sheepskin. I’m not here to play.

Now let’s talk about the real danger, the ones who ain’t wearin’ bonnets and suspenders but play the same damn game.
You know ‘em: the predatory “English” enablers who circle these cults like buzzards, call themselves “drivers” or “friends of the community.” Meanwhile, they’re knee-deep in secrets, scandals, and the kinds of sins that get folks buried under barns. Every town’s got a Jim, who calls law enforcement the minute his Amish buddy needs help hidin’ the bruises from the beatins’, or willin’ to drive the predatory prodigal son to his sexual abuse classes after we turned his ass in.

There are Fannies and Mose Mullets in every one of these communities, the ones who protect their pedophiles while ostracizing the ones who try to speak up. You think I’m being dramatic? Then you haven’t read the reports.

Hell, just look up what’s happening in Bibb County, Alabama, where children were tortured, chained, abused, and a lot of people knew about these single-wide monsters with underground bunkers to keep children hidden in sex bunkers.

I ain’t sayin’ that teachers knew, but they should have sensed somethin’ at some point. Neighbors must have known. The Cult knew. All these grown ass monsters and not one had a shred of decency to do the right thing, but I think that the teachers knew. The neighbors knew, and the cult damn sure knew, and nobody did a damn thing!

Let me make somethin’ crystal clear for anybody still out here romanticizin’ these anti-soap, cousin-screwin’, non-vaccinatin’, dentist-in-a-barn havin’ communities like they’re some holy fuckin’ relic of the past: The Amish don’t survive off peace and piety. They survive off YOUR silence. But let’s not lie to ourselves, this ain’t even about silence anymore. These people don’t care if you speak up. They’ve built an entire system banking on fear. They weaponize that “religious freedom” like a loaded musket pointed at your logic, and most folks back down like it’s sacred. Newsflash: it ain’t.

You think their “faith” is special? Guess what, we all got freedom of religion, and in 2025, that freedom is barely worth a cock hair, especially when people are gettin’ bombed, shot, displaced, and stripped of basic rights. Ask Palestine. Ask Flint. Ask any kid locked up or left behind in this so-called land of the free. Hell, ask me, because I was arrested for askin’ a simple question of the CPS worker on Emmie’s case. A woman who decided to tell lies, falsify documents, and put children in danger, but the prosecutor and county attorney in Mason County had me arrested with no probable cause, no evidence to anything that trick was sayin’ and my attorney said I could take it to trial but they would put me in jail for 90-days regardless. There was no justice, just a group of small-town witch-hunters, where the prosecutor is the daughter of the county attorney and that is how these things go. Fuck em’.

So, no, I don’t give a holy hell if the Amish don’t want to use deodorant, but I do care when they use their lack of hygiene, healthcare, and accountability to commit crimes and then wrap it up in a quilt and call it God’s Will, then use government resources to aid and abet them The same ones who let the egg donor of Emmie’s kids to let her kids get sexually abused, then play lil’ Amish woman victim. When are we really going to crucify these so-called caseworkers fuckin’ with people’s lives because somebody gave them a clipboard and some warped sense of power. I heard she was fired from her last job for impersonating a nurse, but I guess that was a plus for the state of Kentucky when she was hired. Hell, her resume probably had a Spongebob theme since she rocks cartoon shirts and toddler shoes.

Stop swoonin’ over these “made-for-TV” buggies & bonnets specials like it’s wholesome Hallmark content. Ain’t no starry-eyed Amish girl findin’ love in a café. They don’t even have food handler’s permits, let alone drink espresso. Half the shit you see in those cookbooks. Straight outta a Duncan Hines box with a side of lies and maybe some lard. Those pies you’re cryin’ over? Bought in bulk from the discount salvage store, slapped into a reused tin, and sold at a premium at an auction where nothin’s inspected, licensed, or safe. Truth be told, they were collected from a DollaGentral dumpster with a slapped on Amish label.

And those “love stories”? Let me tell you what love looks like in some Amish homes: arranged marriages, cover-ups of sexual abuse, teeth pulled at 12, incestuous unions, and a whole culture of “shut up and submit” enforced by every apron, beard, and bishop from Missouri to Pennsylvania. That ain’t romantic, it’s rot disguised as reverence.

So, the next time someone says, “But their pies are good,” remind them that Duncan Hines is good too, and you don’t have to trade your ethics, common sense, or dental health to enjoy it. You think them blue-ribbon baked goods are all from scratch while they out here rockin’ cavities like grillz in an Atlanta trap video?

Newsflash: There is a direct line between tooth decay and child neglect.
You don’t brush a child’s teeth, you are tellin’ that child: You ain’t worth the time it takes to teach you how to hold a toothbrush. Hell, most parents make that the last thing they say at night, Goodnight, make sure you brush yo’ damn teeth!
You don’t educate them? Same message.
You leave them in a house with a known abuser and call it God’s Will? You are a damn accomplice.

Don’t quote me scripture while your daughter is in the back shed cryin’ and your son’s off at night “confessin’ his urges” to a bishop who did the same shit when he was thirteen.

And what about Kelly Clarke, the so-called Commonwealth Attorney of Kentucky? Let’s talk about him, the alleged swamp-troll who tripped over his own dick to give a rapist a plea deal, then got fired for sendin’ pickle pics to a coworker. (allegedly) These are the type of men makin’ deals behind the scenes while telling survivors to just “move on.”

I’ll move on when these folks stop protecting predators and callin’ it community preservation.

You got sons raping their own mothers.
You got women told their body ain’t their own.
You got unlicensed dentists using black-market lidocaine from God-knows-where pullin’ kids’ teeth without sterilized tools.
You got people crossin’ the border for ketamine and antidepressants but won’t let their kids go to an actual school or hospital.

Tell me again, where’s Jesus?

So no, I’m not sensitive.
I’m wide-eyed, armed with facts, pissed off, and walkin’ with the fire of every single survivor who was told to shut up and obey. I’m walkin’ with the Gods of old, blood-thick, sword-true, fire-born men and women who didn’t wait for no choir robe to rise up and speak truth. I’m talkin’ Odin, Freyja, Thor… Gods who looked out for their kinfolk, especially their women. Gods who said, you touch a girl wrong and your bones gonna’ be cracked open like firewood in winter. Gods who didn’t wait on a miracle, they were the miracle and the damn reckoning too.

See, I ain’t bowin’ to no weak, weepin’ man on a cross, beggin’ his daddy who couldn’t be bothered to show up. Jesus had twelve disciples but none of ‘em pulled a sword when he was snatched up. Not a one. If that had been me, or the Viking ancestors I carry in my marrow, we would’ve burned the temple down and took the high priest’s head as a souvenir.

I don’t follow no god who lets little girls and boys suffer and don’t throw lightnin’ bolts at rapists. I walk with the Ones who say, “Shield up, sword out, and keep your circle tight.” The ones who made runes from sacrifice and made damn sure that justice never slept.

So yeah… act right or end up like Frank Bennett.

It’s hog boilin’ time.

And to anyone else still glamorizing these cults like they’re some pure slice of Americana:
Get your ass out the quilt shop and into the courtroom. Watch how these slick ass, fake demure bitches act when they’re in real skeezer mode, and you’ll see the real side of this cult. How they pile into courtrooms stinkin’ like they have all the clout and people actually give a damn what they want while they sit on the predator’s side scowlin’ at the abused like they’ve thrown a wrench into their trafficking church, or the attorneys who fall all over em’ like that predatory scent is their kryptonite, and they can’t wait to squeeze that greasy money from them that their kids earned.
You don’t need to be “sensitive”, you need to be AWARE of these predators who know their prey. These casserole-bringin’ manipulators that have a sixth sense for folks who’ve not been taught to say no, or question anything. They sniff out deference the way bloodhounds sniff out deer meat and pounce like a Keytesville Amish boy when he sees the hind end of an auction horse. The horse who is taught to obey, not discern. The emotionally hobbled horse.

You can’t always know what a predator looks like, and unfortunately, they come wrapped in a lil’ costume pretending to be servants of the Lord. Servants vibrating on the same frequency as their prey, so these crude dentists, the Fannie’s who tag along, and the bishops standin’ in the pulpit with a boner for minors, smell with dark empathy, scanning the room for a like-minded victim. Some do it for power. Some do it for perversion. Some because their own rot needs company. The Amish meet all the requirements.

But whatever their reason, they always find each other.. Just do me a favor, if you have a toothache, don’t be enticed by some $5 a tooth back road wannabe dentist by night and meat flogger by day, you’d be better off pullin’ that tooth yourself!

To every Amish boy and girl readin’ this on the sly, maybe hidin’ in the barn with a busted flip phone or a whisper from a driver with a conscience, I want you to lean in real close and hear me good:

You got rights.

Yeah, you. Even if they tell you your body ain’t your own. Even if they say your voice don’t count. Even if they say, “this is God’s will”, I call bullshit on that whole agenda. Respect is earned, not demanded with a beard and a buggy.

If somebody touches you, you have every right, God-given, Zella-backed, and hellfire-blessed, to claw their damn eyes out. Grab a rake, a horseshoe, a freakin’ cast iron skillet and swing with holy vengeance. And if that pervert don’t make it out the room breathin’? That’s not your sin. That’s justice.

You ain’t here just to breed and bake bread. You are not livestock. You’re not property. You’re not a pawn in your bishop’s fake holiness poker game. You are not a Sullivan kid. You are a soul with purpose, a brain with power, and a spirit too strong to be boxed in by these backwoods’ cult rules.

Let me tell you something they won’t ever teach you at your dusty little desk in that one-room schoolhouse from 1952:

1. You are allowed to say no.2. You are allowed to think for yourself. 3. You are allowed to leave. 4. You are allowed to live.

And don’t you dare let them drag you to that so-called “Amish dentist”, that back-alley butcher with his dirty hands and antique pliers. He ain’t no doctor. He’s just another control freak tryin’ to make sure you never smile with confidence again. They don’t want you to look good, ‘cause they hate themselves, and misery loves ugly company.

If you’re hurtin’, if you’re scared, if you’re just itchin’ for the truth, reach out. Call somebody. Call me. Call a shelter. Call a hotline. You got options. And when they say you’ll go to hell for tellin’, they’re tryin’ to scare you into silence. Don’t let them. You got a God that gave you guts and glory, not one that expects you to shut up and suffer.

You protect yourself, and if you got the strength, protect your brothers and sisters too. ‘Cause trust me, there are predators on the move, and they wear bonnets and broad brims. And if they can’t fool you, they lose their power.

So, pray if you must, but don’t pray for your abuser.
Pray for the strength to walk out that door.
Pray for the wisdom to see the lies.
Pray for the fire that’ll burn down the whole damn system if it means freedom for just one more girl.

You are not alone. You are not weak. You are a damn warrior in training. Tell ’em to step back or get stomped!

These outbreaks aren’t abstract, they show what happens when isolation and immunity neglect meet modern epidemics.

So, if you’ve been sittin’ in silence, scared to speak up because someone in a black hat told you God would be mad, lemme’ tell you somethin’ with my whole chest: If there is a God, he shouldn’t or won’t be mad at you for tellin’ the truth! He’s mad at them for makin’ YOU think you couldn’t.

Whether you’re Amish, ex-Amish, Mennonite, Mormon, Jehovah’s Witness, or just someone livin’ under the boot of abuse, you are not crazy, you are not alone, and your voice matters. This ain’t about shaming tradition, it’s about exposing evil hiding behind it, and if you’ve been hurt, silenced, raped, trafficked, beaten, lied to, or shunned, it is NOT your fault. Period.

Now, here’s where to turn when you’re ready to speak, scream, or rise up:

• National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888
• RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
• Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)
• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
• National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7): 988
• Voices of Hope for Survivors (for Amish & Plain community survivors): https://www.voicesofhopeforvictims.org

You can also contact your state attorney general, county sheriff, or Department of Social Services, and keep receipts. If they won’t listen, make noise. Go to the press. Go to your senator. Hell, go viral. Your story deserves to be heard!!!!

Because at the end of the damn day, YOU DON’T HAVE TO BOW DOWN TO NO BISHOP, don’t tiptoe for tradition, and damn sure don’t cover for predators in suspenders. We rise up, we speak out, and we fight for every child, woman, and man trapped behind curtains of abuse stitched together by fear and silence. This ain’t just a movement, it’s a reckoning. And baby, we just gettin’ started.